Good Times
I'm tired of talking about how stressed i am, how angry i am with fake ass people,
how depressed i feel sometimes. I want to take a trip down memory lane, when
times weren't so stressful. Like when i had Elias. My due date was January 28th, i
had him EXACTLY 1 week after my due date. He did mommy a favor, coming out
before they induced me. LOL. I went to the GYN February 3rd, at 9 in the
morning. She did a stress test, but Elias was sleeping and not trying to get up. So
she put this machine on my stomach, it sends a vibration to the baby, as soon as she
put that thing on my stomach Elias kicked me so hard, she felt it and saw it. She
told me i was 2 CM dilated, and that they would induce me tomorrow if i didn't
come in my own. She massaged his head to see if she could "get things going." And
sure enough she did. As soon as i left her office i started having contractions. I'm
sure some women would of walked back into the hospital, but i knew better. Kelvin
was mad scared. LOL. It was too cute. I wasn't though. So we get home, 10 in the
morning and i wanted to sleep. So i did. Woke up at like 3, still having consistent
contractions, still calm as can be. Watched TV, called people, like nothing was
going on. Then we forgot, we hadn't yet bought the carriage and car seat. And we
realized this at 8 at night! So we walk to Graham and go to S&M and bought the
travel system. The women in S&M goes, "awww congratulations! When are you due?"
And i told her ,"any minute, literally, i'm in labor." and that smile wiped off her
face so quick. It was funny. She said ,"omg are you serious!? Don't have the baby
here." No shit lady, you think i wanna give birth here, with no Epidural!? LOL. So
we get home, its like 9 at night. My contractions were soooo close together, and i
couldn't walk through them anymore. But i was hungry, and i know the drill. I was
not leaving unless i ate something 1st. So we order pizza. After i eat Yvette and I
put the stroller and the car seat together. I was really uncomfortable, and the
contractions didn't hurt too bad it was just that they were sooo close together it
felt like i couldn't get a break. And like i said, i couldn't walk through them, but i
was able to talk through them, kind of. At 11 we finally call the ambulance and head
to the hospital. My contractions were 4 minutes apart, and they were for A LONG
time. I'm figuring i'm like 5 centimeters or some shit, to find out i'm still 2. I
couldn't believe it. Lucky for me i stood home all that time. About 2 am i get my
happy drugs so i can get some rest. They say epidural usually lasts 2 hours at a
time, but i slept for 4 hours pain free so idk. 6 am, more happy drugs. But after
the epidural when they gave me more drugs, i still felt the contractions. The
anesthesiologist didn't understand why. He shot me up with 3 drugs within half
an hour, which is TOO MUCH. The last 1 he gave me he said increased my chances
of having a c-section, so when he came back and i was still feeling the contractions
i just told him i was ok, that i could deal with them. And i could, i just didn't want
to feel Eli's head come out. I couldn't feel my legs AT ALL. I couldn't move them
either. It felt soooo weird. From 6am to 7pm i couldn't feel my legs, thats how much
drugs i had. It was insane! I was praying Elias didn't come out droggy or anything.
And he didn't. At 11 am i was 7 centimeters. My GYN pops the "rest" of my water,
because she said there was a little pouch of water left. My water had broke on
its own b4 that though, at like 8 am. As soon as she did that the contractions
were "full speed" even though it didn't hurt too bad. I started to feel the urge to
push almost immediately, and she goes, i just checked you, you were 7. I said ,"just
check again, i have to push" and she did, and to her surprise, i was 9.5 centimeters.
By the time they set up and got everything ready i was 10. So at 11:52 am i start to
push. I remember when we first walked into the Labor and Delivery area, i heard
a women SCREAMING her head off and crying that "it hurts!" Me and Kelvin looked
at eachother and i whispered to him, don't know if he heard me ,"you owe me big
time." LOL. People think i'm crazy, but i wish i could rewind and do it all over again.
Labor and Delivery was this crazy roller coaster and i liked it. So, after 1 hour and
8 minutes of pushing, Elias was born at 1pm on the dot. I didn't even feel his head
come out, she had to TELL me to stop pushing. He had SOOOO much hair, and that
1st day he looked just like Kelvin. Oval face, chinky eyes, V shaped chin, it was
insane! And the meds didn't make him droggy. He was up the whole time after he
was born. At 1pm i gave birth, and at 5 pm they came down to move me to the Post
Partum unit, and Elias was still up, eyes wide open. I wanted to record it all that
day, but Kelvin didn't want to. Next time he has no choice, he's going to record. I
wanted to see it for myself, when your experiencing it its not the same. Like what
the doctors and what Kelvin saw was different then what i felt and what little i
saw. I'm still pissed that he didn't record it. I was so over whelmed with emotion!
And i hated to see him cry, it made my heart shatter. I breast fed that 1st night,
he stood with me until about 4 am and then i bought him to the nursery because i
was soooo tired. And he did well that night with the breast feeding, and it went
sour after that. For the 1st month he was getting mostly formula, but i also
breastfed at least twice a day. My boobs were so engorged that the milk was
coming out so fast and he either choked or it squirted him in the face. I laugh at
that now, he used to start crying even louder, like i was teasing him on purpose
or something. When they took him for his circumcision i started crying, because i
know that thats painful and i kept thinking about it the whole time he was gone. I
called my mom in a panic, i was like ,"mom you need to hurry up. They just took him
to get circumcised, and i don't want to be alone with him when he comes back. I
feel so bad." and mom was like ,"omg Bianca he's gonna be ok." like i was over
exaggerating or something. They circumcised him the same day we came home! Thats
why i was pissed. But the day before that, when Kelvins parents and sisters came,
it was so cute. Kelvins dad was afraid to hold Elias because he said ,"he's too small."
and my mom put Elias in his arms anyway. He held him for 2 minutes and passed him
to Genesis. Kelvins parents bought me a rose and some balloons. Mariela and his
mom were the most excited. They came to my house EVERY single day for like 2
months after Elias was born. And Iris would take him to her house like every
other day, she'd come and get him and bring him back. Mariela writes about Elias
for school and stuff. They told me when Mariela heard i gave birth she started
dancing around the house saying ,"yo soy tia, yo soy tia!". LOL. I remember recently
coming across a paper she wrote for school, and the question she had to answer
was "what is the most exciting thing that has happened to you?" And she wrote
about becoming an aunt and how much she loved Elias. And he loves her too. She's
the 1st 1 he asks for when we go up there. And he'll play fight with her and stay
with her. He Loves Mariela! I miss the newborn and infant days. LOL. But i 100%
enjoy these days as well. They're both different. Back then was easier then now.
Elias has his personality now, he's a fighter, tough, smart, hyper. LOL. And spoiled.
Drama king to the fullest. But he's ALL mine and i love him, mean bad or what ever,
no matter what. MOMMY LOVES YOU ELIAS!
Current Mood: 
calm
Current Music: Ne-Yo: "So Sick"
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with reason
anxious
blah
energetic
tired
crushed
This is the cover of the Documantary. You can't see it, but on the right of Brandons hand, in the picture of him when he was younger, thats where is says ,"All Brandon wanted was to be one of the guys, but unfortunately he was a girl."